Friday, November 6, 2009

My Jeanius Tendencies

It's true that "jeans" may not be the most common topic for a blog post.  However,  I have, what some people might consider, an unreasonable attachment to my jeans.  It's not that I'm obsessed with them or anything. That would be weird.  I'm just a bit particular about them. Oh...and then there's the fact that they're the only form of pants that I will ever wear on my legs in the non-summer months.

Sure, if you go looking through my closet, you may come across a few pairs of corduroys and maybe a couple pairs of khakis. However, these don't ever go into rotation unless it's absolutely necessary. And believe me, there'd better be a good reason for me to be wearing something other than my beloved jeans.

Of my varied selection of jeans, only a lucky few end up making it into my weekly rotation.  And actually, from the moment of purchase, I'm probably aware of which ones I will and won't wear, but I'll never admit it at the time.  I'll  always buy some dark ones and a couple not-so-dark ones ...just so there's a bit of jean variety.  I even have one pair with a button-fly, which I regret ever having purchased.  In fact, I think it was an accidental purchase. I didn't realize they were button-fly when I bought them. Think about it...when you undo your fly,  it's for one of three reasons...  1) you're about to go to the bathroom  2) you're about to have sex, or 3) you're about to go to sleep.  Most, if not all of  these are relatively time-sensitive and somewhat urgent activities.  Button-flies only serve to make the process of removing your jeans take longer than it needs to.  They're never as easy as the simple-to-maneuver mechanics of our familiar friend, the zipper.   

So, anyway,  I become attached to a select few pairs of jeans..maybe three of them.  I'll wear these jeans day after day after day. When all three of these pairs of jeans are dirty, I will exclaim, "I have nothing to wear!"…even though my closet is stocked with additional pairs of jeans and the aforementioned corduroys and khakis.  I don't like to leave the house not feeling comfortable.  Apparently, leg coverings dictate my level of comfort. Weird? Definitely.  The problem is...I keep on wearing and washing these jeans that little-by-little, the legs seem to get incrementally the point where, when I sit down, my socks are fully exposed.  That's most certainly a jean faux pas.  Perhaps if I keep washing them, they will turn into jean shorts. That way, I can wear jeans in the hot summer months as well.  Smart, huh?

Fortunately, I work at a company where people are allowed to wear jeans. In fact, every company I've ever worked for was jeans-friendly.  I'm actually not even sure if my co-workers would recognize me in pants. Well, I'm sure they would recognize me, but they may not recognize my legs.  "Nice to see you, Jon...but who are they?" (as they point to my legs)  They might worry about me if I was crazy enough to change it up like that. 

I don't like to worry people.  To be safe, I'll stick with my jeans.

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